But ... A man tried to commit suicide in Maine by crucifying himself in his living room. He attached a suicide sign to the cross and nailed one of his hands to the cross with a 14 penny nail and hammer. Then ... wait for it ...
"When he realized that he was unable to nail his other hand to the board, he called 911,"
Forgive me, but that part is funny. I hope he gets the help he needs.
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