Call 911

I broke a thermometer!

I never, ever would have thought to call 911 for that and I can't believe so many responders showed up and treated it so seriously. How many people does it take to clean up a little mercury? It sounds like the infamous light bulb joke.

I know mercury is not something you want to play around with - well, maybe you do, I've done it, but that was a long time ago, you shouldn't - but come on. Do you call 911 if you find asbestos in your house? Mercury just sits where it lands if you leave it alone, call a poison hotline and find out how to clean it up and dispose of it.

If the stuff is so dangerous, why do they still sell the thermometers?