From the White House Comedy Channel

White House declares: First lady has reduced childhood obesity rates

"Thanks to these efforts ... the national childhood obesity rate has leveled off, and even declined in some cities and states," the statement says, marking the third anniversary of the first lady's signature public health program.

Wow, great job! How did you do it?

"48 percent reported having lost weight because they did not have enough money for food," according to the USDA.