What would We Do Without Safety Experts?

Celebrate!

They want to cut down a much loved, landmark, 150-year old tree because children might get poked by the needle-like points of its leaves.

Here's another.

A primary school abandoned plans to hatch chicks in a classroom incubator because of ‘ludicrous’ health and safety rules.

Teacher Jean Williams wanted seven-year-olds to see how the birds developed from six eggs.

But council health and safety officers insisted biological, electrical, child and teacher risk-assessments would first have to be carried out.

And yet another example of lunacy.

For nearly a quarter of a century, Lourdes Maxwell has celebrated the arrival of summer by putting a paddling pool in the garden.

This year, however, her two grandchildren and the children of her neighbours may have to find another way to cool off in the heat.

Miss Maxwell's local council has decided that the pool - which is only 2ft deep - needs a lifeguard.

The 47-year-old divorced mother of three has also been told she must have insurance before she can inflate the toy outside her house in Portsmouth.