Helpful Tips

This tips are from an email. I like the second one.

• Tape a chocolate bar to the outside of your microwave. If the chocolate melts you will know that the microwaves are escaping and it is time to have the oven serviced.


• A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.


• Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don't know.


• Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment always circle the stain in permanent ink pen so that when you remove the garment from the washing machine you can easily locate the area of the stain and check that it has gone.


• Lose weight quickly by eating raw pork and rancid tuna. I found that the subsequent food poisoning enabled me to lose 12 pounds in only 2 days.


• Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers turned to fast wipe whenever you leave your car parked illegally.


• High blood pressure sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.


• Olympic athletes. Conceal the fact that you have taken performance enhancing drugs by simply running a little slower and letting someone else win.


• Create instant designer stubble by sucking a magnet and dipping your chin in a bowl of iron fillings.


• X File fans: Create the effect of being abducted by aliens by drinking two bottles of vodka. Yo'll invariably wake up in a strange place the following morning, having had your memory mysteriously 'erased'.


• A sheet of sandpaper makes a cheap and effective substitute for costly maps when visiting the Sahara desert.

Watch Out For That ... Zebra?

Truck Hits Escaped Zebras Along Rural Road

A zebra? In Florida?

"It's going to sound crazy, man, but I ain't lying. I got zebras in the road," a caller to 9-1-1 said.

Float Free

Quicksand Myth Debunked: You Can Float Free

The researchers simulated a quicksand pit in the lab and placed an aluminum ball of greater density than the quicksand on top of the pit. The ball didn't sink until the researchers began to shake the pit, simulating movement and turning the mixture of sand and water more liquid. When they did this, the ball sank right to the bottom.

But when they used an aluminum ball with a density equal to the human body, which is less than the density of quicksand, they found it impossible to sink the ball, no matter how hard they shook the pit.

I'd feel a lot better about it if they had jumped in themselves and demonstrated how it is done, an aluminum ball doesn't do it for me.

If you ever get stuck in quicksand though, you might want to give their advise a try. Even if you don't (get stuck in quicksand), it's an interesting read.

How Bizarre Is This?

Police Find Missing Man Driving Dead Deer In Ambulance

A man reported missing from a Florida hospital was found in North Carolina dressed like a doctor and driving a stolen ambulance with a dead deer wedged in the back, authorities said.

Opportunities for Re-investment in What Really Counts

I like this.

No More to Roam

From time to time in this world, God allows his people to suffer, in ways great and small. All these are trials of faith. They are times of dis-investment in one world, and investment in another. God has given us this great gift which he has not given to his other creatures. We know that we will die, and in our better moments, we know what Solomon learned and wrote for us: It is all vanity and a striving after wind.

Birthday Wishes

Happy Birthday Kathy! (My sister)

Check out what happened today in history and who else has a birthday today.

When It Absolutely Has To Be There Overnight

This FedEx truck was going so fast it burst into flames on the Florida Turnpike.

Not really, but the package won't be there - ever.

Missed It By That Much!

Don Adams of 'Get Smart' Dies at 82

I wish Get Smart was on the air. Maybe TV Land will do something in memory.

Nice Shootin' Tex!

Road-rage bullet hits tip of a raised finger

Opera

Opera Web Browser is now completely free - no ads.

That's Incredible!

Puppy Swallows 13-Inch Knife, Survives

How does a puppy, even a Saint Bernard puppy, swallow a 13 inch knife? It was 4 days before they operated to remove it. Ouch!

Watching Rita

Eventually, one of these reporters on the front line of these storms is going to be caught short and won't make it out. I've seen at least one reporting from Galveston and apparently there are other people who didn't evacuate that town. They might get lucky as Rita drifts eastward but in a direct hit they wouldn't have a prayer. The reporters in Port Arthur better watch it as well. They are staying in a new, strong building. OK, whatever. Man is no match for the natural forces at work here. One of these days you'll see an "I think we made a mistake" report form one of them. I hope not.

I also think if one of these storms comes towards Florida we would be screwed. After watching the evacuations in Texas I don't look forward to having to evacuate the peninsula of Florida. A Cat 5 storm so large would require evacuating most of Florida. After seeing the damage from the hurricanes in 2004, and the after effects (no gas, no power) I don't think I'd like to stick around through a Cat 5.

Not So Fast

Houston Residents Struggle to Get Inland

"Drivers ran out of gas in 14-hour traffic jams or looked in vain for a place to stay as hotels hundreds of miles in from the coast filled up. Others got tired of waiting in traffic and turned around and went home."

You're damned if you leave and you're damned if you stay. What do you do? Hurry up and wait. Don't wait for the government to save you, that's for sure.

What Do You Mean, Again?

Just heard on the morning news:

"Trouble at the pumps, it could start hurting again."

Again? It still hurts.

I think a buck a gallon is a nice round number, lets go back to that.

Get Outta Town

The morning that Katrina was making land fall, when Shepard Smith was calling the all clear in New Orleans, I asked the girl who relieved me if she had ever been to New Orleans. She said "No, why?" I said, "It's too late now." Little did I know how right I was.

I'm saying the same thing about Galveston now. If you live in Galveston, you better get out. They have learned some lessons from Katrina and are bussing people out who don't have another way. Good. If Rita keeps this course, anyone who stays in Galveston will have no excuse and I don't want to hear anything about the government blowing up the sea wall or the ethnic cleansing BS we're hearing from New Orleans. Take responsibility for your own mistakes. Better yet, don't make the mistake - get out of town.

There Oughta Be A Law

Dennis Prager is absolutely right in this essay: First fight yourself, then society

Judeo-Christian values believe the road to a just society is paved by individual character development; the Left believes it is paved with action on a macro level.

That is one reason the Left is far more interested than the Right, i.e., religious Jews and Christians and secular conservatives, in passing laws, whether through legislation or through the actions of judges. That is how the Left believes you make a better society. There is, incidentally, a second reason the Left passes so many laws: As the Left breaks down the self-discipline of Judeo-Christian religions, more and more laws are needed simply to keep people from devouring each other

Refining this subject further, Ronald L. Dart has this to say while going through II Corinthians 3:14-16:

I don't know why some persist in misunderstanding this passage. "When Moses is read," which happened Sabbath by Sabbath in synagogues everywhere, the Jews do not see what lies within, behind and underneath the law. But, said Paul, when one turns his heart to the Lord, the veil, not the law, is taken away. Thus one can see the real spirit of the law behind the letter.

And on II Corinthians 3:17,18, he adds:

The law cannot ensure freedom if it does not reach men's hearts. As long as the law is external, it inexorably destroys liberty. Men break the law, and since there is no remedy except punishment, we send them to jail and pass more laws to plug loopholes in existing law. Law alone cannot hold back a moral landslide. Only the Spirit of the Lord can guarantee liberty.

I see this clearer now than I ever have in the past.

Channel Surfing

I was watching the news the other night and they said a face transplant operation was being planned, I know you've heard it, it's been on the news lately. I flipped through some channels and HBO was showing Face Off, the John Travolta/Nicholas Cage flick. Eerily coincidental.

Tonight I caught a mini marathon of DOG The Bounty Hunter on A&E. It was pretty good, better than the other bounty hunter show that was on Discovery Channel (I believe - may have been HBO) a while back. I hope I can catch it again.

I watched a movie the other night that kind of freaked me out. I don't care for horror movies but this one took place in Japan and I watched it just to hear the Japanese and see the sites. I don't know the name of the movie, but it was about a house where some murders took place and everyone who goes in the house is killed by the evil spirits - eventually, not right then and there. I saw it was on a couple of times since I watched it but I didn't care to see it again. I just looked up the name of the movie, it was The Grudge. It's hard to forget the imagery of that movie.

On a lighter note, I liked Taxi, with Queen Latifah and Jimmy Fallon. Very funny.

Germany Split

German election ends in deadlock

"Germany slid into political chaos on Sunday night as the election produced a hung parliament, with both chancellor Gerhard Schroeder and his challenger Angela Merkel claiming victory and the right to form a new government."

Challenger narrowly wins election in Germany

"Conservative challenger Angela Merkel narrowly won German elections Sunday but fell short of a clear mandate to govern, as Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder staged a dramatic comeback and proclaimed that he should head the next government."

This all sounds so familiar. How long will it take to decide this election?

Power Dressing?

Power-dressing man leaves trail of destruction

A guy in a fitted suit and red tie goes off in the office? No, not quite.

"An Australian man built up a 40,000-volt charge of static electricity in his clothes as he walked, leaving a trail of scorched carpet and molten plastic and forcing firefighters to evacuate a building."

I don't know if I believe this. He's walking along, minding his business, burning the floor as he goes and completely unaware of any of it?

"Frank Clewer, who was wearing a woolen shirt and a synthetic nylon jacket, was oblivious to the growing electrical current that was building up as his clothes rubbed together."

Yup. Oblivious.

"We tested his clothes with a static electricity field meter and measured a current of 40,000 volts, which is one step shy of spontaneous combustion, where his clothes would have self-ignited," Barton said.

They must have done this before. One more step and he's toast.

"Static electricity is a similar mechanism to lightning, where you have clouds rubbing together and then a spark generated by very dry air above them," said Gosden.

Really? Lightning is caused by clouds rubbing together? And thunder is caused by God bowling. Are you sure that's right?

Anyway, must have been cool to watch. It is pretty incredible.

Public Service Announcment

Katrina victims are eligible for up to 14 days free stay at a hotel - paid by FEMA and the American Red Cross. You must be from a qualifying zip code but, as a hotel, that is all we are required to check. I believe the hotel must be registered with FEMA first. Many hotels here in Kissimmee are advertising this but it must also be true of hotels throughout the country.

Cypress Gardens Adventure Park and Splash Island Water Park are offering free admission during the month of September to those displaced by Hurricane Katrina. Proof of residency required.