Thursday, August 16, 2007

Secret Weapon

Mammals Attack the Middle East

Iran's news service recently announced that security forces... how do I say this... "captured" 14 squirrels on the suspicion that they were spying on behalf of a Western power (read: the Great Satan).

They will go on trial as spies and the beheadings start at sunset after the trial. President Bush issued a statement saying if they are not released in 3 days he will send Jimmy Carter to talk their ears off.

It was only a couple weeks ago that residents of Basra, Iraq, complained that British troops had released man-eating badgers to terrorize the city, which was already coping with militias that kill—if not eat—people.

You thought Green Berets were tough? No, no, no, watch out for those man-eating militias. I believe they trained Bear Grylls. He'll eat anything.

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