Friday, November 05, 2004

Congolese Super-Gorillas

Top-secret military experiment gone horribly wrong: King Congo: Super-gorillas spotted in Africa

They are 2,2m tall, weigh more than 90kg and are fond of lion for breakfast. They make their home in the darkest reaches of the Congolese jungle and hunt in packs, silently stalking their prey for hours, then breaking cover and overcoming the terrified creature before it has a chance to flee.

Umm. Excuse me. Lions don't live in the jungle. If these creatures live in the darkest reaches of the Congolese jungle, how do they get the lions?

Lions do not live in heavy forests and jungles and they do not inhabit desert areas due to a scarcity of game.

Perhaps they have them FedExed from the nearest savannah.

Apparently, they do have a discriminating palette. Says primatologist Shelly Williams:

"We could hear them in the trees, about 10m away, and four suddenly came rushing through the brush towards me. If this had been a mock charge they would have been screaming to intimidate us. These guys were quiet, and they were huge. They were coming in for the kill - but as soon as they saw my face they stopped and disappeared."

Or perhaps she's just very, very ugly. I don't know.

If, as they say, only eight have been seen by scientists (if a scientist hasn't seen it, it doesn't exist), and none captured,

At present, only eight of these fascinating creatures have been seen by scientists, and none has been captured for study.

Then why are they worried about them being hunted to extinction?

It would be a tragic irony if these creatures, so new to science, are hunted to extinction before they are properly studied.

Wouldn't they be happy if someone killed one and gave it to them? Don't they do that to every other creature they study? I guess they don't have a big enough jar to put it in.

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